Really Stoopid Questions

1. If I smoke “Lite” cigarettes, will I get cancer “Lite”?

2. If two dogs are identical twins, can other dogs tell them apart? Do their butts smell the same?

3. Why do my guests always use my bathroom to “take” a whiz? Are they out of stock at home? What makes them think I’ve got some to spare?

4. To help create jobs, why don’t we just open a few hundred plants to supply lead to all the Chinese toy makers?

5. Why does my wife always leave the toilet seat down?

6. Many people think George W. Bush probably was the worst president in history, but wasn’t he pretty bad in math, English and social studies, too?
   
   
7. Why do baseball teams always play a zone defense? Why don't they ever play a man-to-man?
   
   
8. If some big snakes only eat once or twice a year, does that mean they only take one or two dumps a year?
   
   
9. How many homes could we power for a year if we liposuctioned all the lard out of our asses and converted it to fuel?
   
   
10. Wile E. Coyote buys all sorts of Acme gadgets in futile attempts to catch the roadrunner. Why doesn't he just buy some Acme FOOD?
    
    
11. If the "A Team" was such an elite military team, how come those fools busted tens of thousands of rounds during the show's run, and NEVER HIT A SINGLE THING?